Practise
Dialectical Behavior Therapy gives you concrete moves for four situations: staying present, surviving a crisis wave, working with a strong emotion, and asking for what you need. Everything below is a hands-on tool — scroll, or jump to what you need.
Between the hot, all-feeling Emotion Mind and the cool, all-logic Reasonable Mind sits Wise Mind — where feeling and reason overlap and you just know what's right for you. Where are you right now?
Breathe in on the word "wise," out on "mind." Then ask yourself, honestly:
When arousal is too high to think, change your body chemistry directly. Pick one and follow the timer.
Once the peak passes, ride out the rest without making things worse. Tap what you'll actually try — a short, concrete plan beats a long list.
Nothing picked yet.
Name it, rate it, check it, then decide: does this emotion fit the facts? If it doesn't — or acting on it won't help — do the opposite, all the way.
Slide to match the intensity in your body.
A strong emotion mind is often a tired, hungry, unwell emotion mind. Tend the body and the feelings get more manageable. Check off what's handled today.
0 of 5 tended.
Fill in the first four and this builds your script. The last three (M·A·N) are how you deliver it.
Mindful — stay on point; broken-record if they deflect. Appear confident — steady voice, eye contact. Negotiate — be willing to give to get.
DEAR MAN gets the outcome. GIVE keeps the relationship. FAST keeps your self-respect.
Gentle · no attacks or threats. Interested · listen to their side. Validate · acknowledge their feelings. Easy manner · a little lightness goes far.
Fair · to yourself and them. (no) Apologies · don't over-apologize for existing. Stick to values · don't sell out to be liked. Truthful · no exaggerating or excuses.
These are coping and communication skills, not treatment, and not a substitute for working with a DBT therapist. If you're thinking about harming yourself, or the distress won't come down no matter what you try, please reach a person you trust or a crisis line — you don't have to get through it alone.
DBT crisis survival with intelligent decision support
Rate how strongly you want to act on this urge right now:
When urgency is 8+, let's start with immediate distraction first, then work through the decision.
Choose a category for urgent distraction:
Let's weigh the real consequences of acting vs. resisting this urge:
Every recorded victory is one you can look back on. Stored only on this device.