Situation-first, not feeling-first

What's actually going on right now?

Not sure which feeling fits, or don't want to sort through a list? Pick the situation instead. Six common ones, one question each, one clear next step.

A feeling has me

Is it sharp and urgent, or heavy and lingering — or does it feel like it won't lift at all?

Sharp and urgent

→ TIPP — bring a 9 down fast

When arousal is too high to think, change the body's chemistry first.

Or: Breathing timer · Anxiety

Heavy and lingering

→ Grief

Heavy, slow feelings usually need company and time, not a fix.

Or: Numbness · Somatic tools

Like it won't lift at all

→ Support & crisis lines

That specific flavour — it will never change — is worth telling a person, not just a page.

Or: Hopelessness · Depression

A person is the problem

Is this about what they do, or how you feel around them?

What they do

→ Say It Clearly — Boundaries

A boundary is information, not an argument — start there.

Or: Say the Hard Thing Well · Reverse Lookup

How I feel around them

→ The fawn response

If you disappear around certain people, that's a survival style, not a character flaw.

Or: Phrase Finder · Guilt

I can't make myself act

Do you know what to do and just can't start, or do you not actually know what you want?

Know what, can't start

→ Two Boxes

Pre-deciding your way past the obstacle beats willpower in the moment.

Or: Habit tracker · ADHD Toolkit

Don't know what I want

→ Journal · prompts

Clarity usually comes from writing toward it, not thinking harder about it.

Or: Circle of Slices · Find your method

Everything at once

Right now, do you need to sort it, or calm your body first?

Sort it

→ Circle of Slices

Sort before you calm — one big blur becomes named, sized pieces.

Or: Overwhelm · Two Boxes

Calm my body first

→ TIPP — bring a 9 down fast

When the body's flooded, thinking clearly has to wait its turn.

Or: Breathing timer · Somatic tools

Nothing, I'm flat

Is this new — today or this week — or has it been going on a while?

New, this week

→ Numbness

The volume's turned down for a reason — often protective, often temporary.

Or: Boredom · Somatic tools

A while now

→ Support & crisis lines

When flat becomes the baseline, it's worth telling a person, not just reading a page.

Or: Depression · Burnout

A habit runs me

Is it something you do, or something you can't stop thinking?

Something I do

→ Habit tracker

Small, steady reps build the override — not willpower in the moment.

Or: ADHD Toolkit · DBT skills

Something I can't stop thinking

→ CBT skills

Thoughts loop; the fix is changing your relationship to them, not winning the argument.

Or: OCD · ACT · Unhook & realign

Prefer to start from the feeling itself? Pick from the full list →